The next morning, we all went to the funeral home to start the dreaded process. We had to pick out a casket, the flowers, memorial cards and everything esle. It was so very stressful and painful. Her son, daughter, husband was all there including me the granddaughter (daughter) full of grief and exhaustion. It was a difficult situation because her husband (my Dad) wanted matching caskets. He said they had discussed it and that was what they wanted, white matching caskets. But we had found these beautiful, lovely caskets…as much as caskets can look beautiful. They were matching but one was a lavender steel and the other was a navy steel color. Because you have to understand that we were not only picking out her casket but we were also picking out his casket for when he died. Let’s just compound our pain even more with him planning his funeral to come. The caskets were so beautiful but a man in his 80’s could’t understand that they were the same casket, just a different in color. One of the caskets was in a feminine color and the other in a masculine color but the same casket. They were so much nicer than the white ones, and she deserve it and I knew she would have love it and would have picked it if she seen it. They had only talked about it, never actually looked at them. He finally understood and agreed with these nicer ones, it wasn’t that he was cheap, just head strong. We were not trying to go against their wishes we just wanted better for both of them in different hues.
The funeral home requested that we give them some pictures of her so they could create a slide show for the funeral. So we went home to go through all the pictures that she had…she had already prepared envelopes with each of our names on it, she had been sorting through pictures to give to each of us. She was so thoughtful and was preparing things for us when she was gone.
I was going though her dresser..because she would also keep things in the draws and that is when it happened…the treasure was found! I just struck the jackpot, pay dirt, found gold! There were letters to each of us kids and some of her closest grandchildren. Here is my letter.
You will never know how much you mean to me. You are the very best daughter any mother could have. We’ve had some fun ha! And you did so many nice things for me! “God Bless you.” How you tried to make my life easier, was appreciated.
I love you always
She wrote this letter to me almost a year before she passed away, it was dated March 2, 2006. She had been sick for a very long time, she knew her time was nearing.
Once we all seen these letters we decided to put something in her casket from each of us.
I decided I would respond to her letter as my gift to put in the casket to her. Here is my response.
I am so thankful that you are my Mom. I felt that I could always count on you and that your love was unconditional. You meant everything to me and you were my world. I will miss you dearly as you were truly my best friend.
Mom, you will never be forgotten and you will always be in my heart. You are at peace now and free of pain. Please do all the things you want and go see all the places you dreamed of.
I love you very much and I will see you soon.
Love Your Daughter,
When it came to the day of the funeral, and the service concluding, we all got ready to put our items in the casket before they closed it. None of us, knew what the other person was putting in the casket until then. When her son seen that I wrote a letter back to her, he didn’t feel his gift was good enough and he had the nerve to ask me to write on the back on my letter…and NO, I didn’t let him.
You’re not alone, you are loved,
The Girl that was Abandon