All of the abuse that I suffer at the hands of Mitchell, isn’t what ended our marriage. Broken trust was the straw, that broke the camel’s back.
Our daily life was pretty routine, we would go to work around the same time and come home around the same time everyday. Then, the patterned started changing and Mitchell started arriving home later and later. He also had been talking a lot about a new female co-worker that he was showing the ropes to.
The later Mitchell came home from work, the more I started becoming a detective. He was making all kinds of excuses why he was having to work late.
I decided one evening to take a ride, I drove by the newspaper and his car was not there. I got out of my car and used a phone booth and tried to call his desk but there was no answer. It was dark out and this was the latest he had ever been. So, I then drove around the block and there sat his car at a local bar and grill. I pulled into the parking lot and parked my car and ready to confront my worst fears.
This girl, did not hesitate and went in and check out the situation and what did I find…Mitchell sitting with two women, intoxicated, laughing, giggling and being flirtatious. I walk right up to the high table in the bar that they were sitting at and politely asked him if he was ready to come home. The women had shock and fear all over their faces while Mitchell ignored me. I turned around and walked out of the restaurant, expecting him to follow me. I waited for him outside, and every minute that I waited I grew more infuriated and after 15 minutes Mitchell still had not come out.
What does a scorned woman do? Well, this scorned woman marched right back inside, went to the table where he was still having a good time, picked up his full mug of beer and pour it in his lap. I then turned around without saying a word and walked out of the restaurant and went home. Yes, this time Mitchell was right behind me!
It was the usual when we got home, more fighting and more abuse. The next morning, he got up again like nothing was wrong and went about his day like always.
That evening, I was waiting for Mitchell to come home again, I wanted to talk to him about saving our marriage. But he didn’t show up and it was getting later and later. I decided to take another ride by the newspaper to see if he was at work. The car was there this time, but I wondered what could be taking him this long? I parked my car across the street behind some bushes so that he would not see me. The phone booth that I used the night before was right there. So, I did what every “Good Wife” would do, I called to check on my husband. I was surprised when he answered the phone because I figured he had left with someone else and left the car at work, but that wasn’t the case. I asked him how much longer he would be and he told me he would be home in a few hours and cut me off quickly.
I sensed that something was not right with that phone conversation, so I just sat there watching the parking lot of the newspaper. After about 10 minutes, Mitchell walked out of the office with his female co-worker. I continued to watch as she got in her car and he leaned in on her door and was visibly flirting with her. I watched them carry on for about 15 minutes, then they left the parking lot in separate cars and in different directions.
I didn’t follow Mitchell, because I knew I wouldn’t get the truth. I followed her to get some answers, she drove to a local skating rink and parked. I pulled in behind her car where she couldn’t back out. I jumped out of my car like a mad woman and when to the door of her car. She rolled the window down but only about two inches as she was surely frightened for her life. I had no intentions on hurting this woman, I just wanted answers. I asked her if she was having an affair with my husband. She said “NO”, she explained that she had a fiancee that lived up north and that he would be moving here soon. When she realized I was not there to harm her, she got out of her vehicle and spoke with me woman to woman. I told her that if they were not truly having an affair with Mitchell, that it was his intentions to start one. I told her that if she wanted him, she could have him because I was done.
I left that parking lot and drove about a mile down the road to a bar that was about two blocks from our apartment. No, I didn’t go in the bar, but I used that pay phone to make a collect call. I was calling, good old faithful “Mom and Dad”, crying my eyes out and asking if I could come home, of course the answer was “YES”! There was never a hesitation when it came to my parents and them helping out their children.
In a blink of an eye, the following morning Mitchell was getting ready to leave for work. I told him that I was leaving him and I wanted a divorce…he had no emotional reaction. I walked him to the car and said my good-bye. I watched Mitchell back out of the parking space and turn right. I watched the back of the car, the taillights and license plate fade out of my view. It was truly God’s perfect timing, I looked to my left and my parents were pulling up in with their truck and trailer to rescue me! They were my knights in shinning armor and they came to save the day!
The three of us got to work right away, my Grandmother (Mom) went to work packing and my Dad and I went to rent a storage unit. We packed and moved furniture all day long. We pulled away from the apartment at 5o’clock on the dot, the same time that Mitchell got off of work.
I remember the back seat of my car piled high with clothing and my dog named Shelby sitting on top of that mound of clothing and my Grandmother in the front seat. We followed behind my Dad with his truck loaded to the ground.
That day, we left my abusive life with Mitchell there in Sarasota, for good!
I remember driving home and crying to my Grandmother that no one was ever going to love someone that had been divorced twice, she reassured me that was not going to be the case.
Later, Mitchell called me because he really didn’t think I was leaving and he was shocked when he came home. He said to me. “You didn’t even leave me a roll of toilet paper to wipe my ass.” I thought he was being ridiculous because we took almost everything, but my Mom chuckled in the background saying, “Yep, I even took all the toilet paper, that’s what he gets for messing with you!”
You would have thought that I would have left because of all the physical abuse, but that is not why I left. Yes, the physical abuse contributed, but it was the broken vow of trust that was leading to infidelity. The way I see it, Mitchell was already thinking about it and in my book that is cheating. It is also, another form of abandonment and rejection of our relationship. When he turned his thoughts and flirtatious actions towards another woman, he left and abandon our marriage.
Again, I am one of the lucky ones, I survived and got out of that abusive relationship, regardless of what broke the camel’s back. Many women will never leave, they will feel like they deserve the abuse and that they are not worthy of more. Sometimes, God has to give us a little nudged and make us open our eyes, I believe that is what he done for me that day, and saved me again.
You’re not alone, you are loved,
The Girl that was Abandon