I was always leery of of people getting hypnotized. I really didn’t think someone could gain control of your subconscious. I always thought it was a little bit hooky. People running around and crowing like chickens, just hard to believe someone can have that kind of control over you. You could have never convinced me that I would have ever considered allowing someone to hypnotize me. Giving someone control over me is not something I am a fan of, but when your desperate your willing to try anything.
It was driving me crazy that my Grandmother had told me a few names of who my father could be and I couldn’t remember them if my life of me. Why did I ask her that question but didn’t write anything down? I don’t know why I thought I would remember what she told me, we were under so much stress at that time. Her son had just died (I grew up as him being my brother in reality he was my uncle). We were dealing with his death and her having cancer and planning to have surgery.
I made a decision a little over a year after that conversation to make an appointment with a hypnotist to see if anything could be recovered. I was very skeptical when I made this appointment and figured I was probably just throwing my money in the garbage.
On February 28, 2008 I went to my appointment to be hypnotize. When I arrived, I met with the hypnotist and told her my reasons for being hypnotize and what I was hoping to recover. She had me lay on a couch with my eyes closed. She told me to envision staircase leading down to a basement. She lead me slowly down these stairs and the further down the stairs I got, the further I was really becoming hypnotized.
These are my notes that she took from my session.
Last January, where are you? I am on the couch, my sister in in chair, Mom is between us, we’re talking.
I asked her who was the father of her son that had just passed away. A university guy.
It’s later, my sister is not there anymore. It’s just me and her. Were just talking. I asked her about who my father could be.
Two names came out Gary and Mike.
There were boys in the neighborhood. They were friends of my brother. Gary and Mike. I am hearing “Felpin & Gedinsky, Wade. Felpin is a last name.
Gedinsky’s first name? It’s a family in the neighborhood and after the story of the possible molestation, they befriended , we were not allowed to play anymore.
Is there a Gedinsky who possibly could be your father? No.
Mike Wade & Gary Felpin. My brother’s friends.
Does your brother know who your father is? Not sure, there was more than one boy. These boys lived in the neighborhood.
What is your earliest memory? I see my mom, my sister, brother, they are looking at me in my crib. Mobile over me.
Now, Mom picked me up and I’m on her hip, we went through a door and into the living room. We are in a home, not a place that I remember.
Anything significant? My biological mother is not there, I think it is when we left Florida. I think she just wasn’t there, she was never there, she was never there!
This is when she brought me out of the hypnosis because I was getting agitated and really getting worked up. I can remember every thing that I visualized during this session still today. At this point, I knew that my biological mother was never really there. She had told me she was there when I was little but was unable to touch me. This hypnosis revealed more of the truth of the story with my biological mother than expected.
Do I believe in hypnosis now? Yes, I sure do!
I have never been able to tract anything down with these names. I don’t even know if the spelling of these names are correct that the that hypnotist wrote down. I know I was born on August 15, 1967 in St. Cloud, Florida and my biological mother was 14 years old. I know our address was address was 219 Sunset Blvd. Kissimmee, Florida. I don’t have much to go on here to find my biological father and I have accepted that I will probably never know. Someone has more information out there but they are not willing to share it with me.
I have to be honest, this is one thing that I have difficulty letting go of and moving on. I guess, I am afraid of losing hope. I don’t know if my biological father is alive or dead, but I do hope regardless that one day this will be revealed to me. Not knowing who my father is still makes me feel incomplete.
Don’t get me wrong, my Dad that raised me is my Dad. He may not have been my biological father but he step up and raised and loved me as his own.
You’re not alone, you are loved,
The Girl that was Abandon