Even as an adult, I feel like that little girl in the picture being left out. You would think, you would outgrow those childhood feelings…not!
I am so tired of rejection, this is something that all children of abandonment and adoption deals with through out their life.
When we feel abandoned and rejected we become emotional drained. The hurt is deeper than you can imagine when we are not included, not invited, and forgotten in activities, events and life. The reason the pain goes so deep is we have a huge desire to be accepted and loved because that was taken away from us from either our mother, father or both. It creates a fear within us of abandonment, hence abandonment issues from rejection and not being included.
I know many people can’t understand the depth of pain we can feel from these issues. I have been told “move on and put your best foot forward “. It’s not that easy for someone that has the abandonment ball and chain strapped around their ankle. That damn ball and chain keeps dragging us backwards to that place of feeling unworthy. That same feeling we got when out parents discarded us like a piece of garbage.
The one thing that children of abandonment and adoption must hang on to for dear life, is the fact that someone choose us in the end, we were a choice to be loved. That is our survival mechanism to deal with our fears of abandonment and rejection.
I have dealt with this very recently with a few friendships or what I thought was friendship. Friendship is a two way street, it requires giving on both sides, not just when it is convenient. When one side quits giving, abandonment of the relationship occurs.
Just know, if that is the case you deserve a true friend, one you can count on, one that will listen, one that will have your back and never turn away. It is better to have only a few true friends, then a bunch of people that claims to be your friends. You know those “fake friends “, the ones that claim they are there for you but the minute you fall down they are no where in sight.
I am lucky, I have less than a handful of true friends that love unconditional…you know who you are and that I love you more!
I believe everyone deserves those special friends, we are all worthy of being accepted for who we are, the good, bad, ugly, funny, crazy, sad, happy and beautiful people we are. I love the fact that I can be me and I don’t have to pretend to be someone else to gain that type of friendship! They love me for simply who I am and all my fear and abandonment issues that come with me!
You’re not alone, you are loved,
The Girl that was Abandon