Have you ever found yourself using the bathroom as an escape? How many times have you locked yourself in a bathroom just to escape and save face? Is this the place that women go to cry, just so no one will know? Hiding all of our hurts behind that bathroom door?
I know personally, I have used the bathroom over and over to escape from many things. I have lived in abusive relationships where the only escape was behind a locked bathroom door. I have been at the bottom of the pit, down on the bathroom floor in a puddle of tears, my heart bleeding from all of the pain and disappointment in my life. There has been times that I didn’t even know how I was going to have the strength to carry on, let alone pick myself up off of that bathroom floor.
I have looked in that bathroom mirror many times and did not like the girl tht was looking back at me. This girl didn’t know who she was, she had lost her identity. She was so disappointed in her choices and the behavior that she tolerated. She had lowered her standards because of what life had dealt her that she no longer felt worthy to be treated any other way.
I know I am not the only one that has found themselves locked in the bathroom just trying to escape, hide and gain composure to face the world again.
My question is, why do women find themselves in the bathroom crying? Is there some comfort in that dirty room? Is it because we can shower and feel clean again? Is the tears showering our soul? I think that is exactly what is happening. Water is always cleansing, so are tears. Tears are the shower to cleanse the soul.
We do not need to be shameful of seeking refugee, if we feel this is our safe place. Healing happens when we allow ourselves to feel the pain, allow ourselves to cry and process our hurts.
If it wasn’t for my faith, I probably would have remained on that bathroom floor because I don’t think I personally had the strength to get up. I believe God has been on this journey with me the whole time, holding my hand and helping me get up time and time again.
Never be ashamed of your feelings, they are your feelings. Never be ashamed to seek that refugee that is necessary. You are not the only one and you are not alone!
You’re not alone, you are loved,
The Girl that was Abandon