I never realized how abuse, whether physical or verbal can make you feel like a caged animal. At least, I never thought about it, when it was happening to me. Looking back at my past two marriages, that is exactly how I felt, an animal that had been abuse and put in a cage. Abusers want to have power and control over you and that is exactly how they do it by filling your head full of lies and making you feel helpless.
Now, I know you have seen those commercials of abused animals on TV. You know the ones I am talking about, that make you grab the remote control like you were running for cover when lighting strikes. You can’t change the channel fast enough to escape the true reality that goes on in this world. I get it, because I do the same thing and it is just plain sickening how someone could mistreat an animal in that manner.
My question is, why don’t we get those same feeling about people being abused? Is it because people are not helpless like animals and we need to take personal responsibility for our situation and just leave? It’s just not that easy for someone that is in this situation.
The abuser works on their victim day in and day out, crushing their self esteem, causing them to start believing the lies that they are being told over and over again…
No one will ever want you.
You can’t make it on your own.
Your crazy, you are making it up, it’s just a figment of your imagination.
Your overweight, your fat, your not attractive, your ugly.
Your the “B” word. Your the “C” word.
Your stupid, your a dumb”A**”.
I think you get the picture where I am going with this, see the problem is when someone starts believing these lies and their self esteemed becomes so crushed that they can’t see a way out, they are helpless just like those animals.
What about imprisonment?
Let me tell you, this stuff really happens because I was also a victim of imprisonment. As crazy as it sounds, my ex husband would become a barricade and block me from leaving the house or room. I remember crouching down on the floor crying because he wouldn’t stop verbally abusing me, I tried not responded to his verbal abuse but he just wouldn’t leave me alone. At times, my only escape was locking myself in the bathroom, “my refuge” where I would cry it out. Sometimes, I would have these very dark thoughts that would cross my mind and for a split second I would think about taking my own life to escape. Now, I don’t think I was suicidal because these thoughts would never last but for a minute. The pain that I was enduring hurt so bad, that I just wanted to be put out of my misery. No different than animal that is hurting, inhumane? I think everyone has had those dark feelings at one time or another, it’s just whether or not they want to admit it or not.
Now, I want you to think about it, have you ever really looked into the eyes of a caged animal? What do you see? Does that sadness cause you pain from empathy? Now, look into the eyes of someone being abused, I bet you will see eyes that are dark, lifeless, like their soul is missing. People that are being abused need you to give them encouragement to change their situation, not judge why they remain in their abusive situation.
Just like an abuse animal, abused people need to be nourished back to life with unconditional love, they need to know they are worthy and deserve a life without abuse. They need continous words of encouragement to start believing again, continue words will slowly build them back up and allow them to get up off of that dirty floor, brush their knees off and start again. Please take note, people that are being abused, have live in fear, been lied to and have trouble trusting and believing, so have patience and continue to encourage, you maybe the difference and be the light in their dark world.
There is something deep down in each and everyone of us, it’s called “HOPE”, as long as we don’t lose “HOPE” we have a fighting chance to let the light back in.
You’re not alone, you are loved,
The Girl that was Abandon