Have you ever opened your heart and gave of yourself without expecting anything in return? After giving freely of yourself, has your feelings been hurt for the lack of consideration, common courtesy and respect? Does it feel like they have used and abused your kindness? Have you felt like you have been taken advantage of? Have you ever felt like a human doormat? I am guessing the answer is “YES”, at least once in your lifetime.
I think most of us have had our heart broken a time or two, especially when we helped someone out from the goodness of our heart. People say all the time that they are “giving without expecting something in return”. So why would we expect appreciation for our kindness? Isn’t that expecting something?
Then, there is that other well know phrase “Don’t mistake my kindness for weakness!”. My question is, are we capable of giving without expecting? We give out of love and kindness of our heart, our heart feels, it is emotional…so, how can a heart not feel the pain when your kindness is abused and taken advantage of?
I have experienced these feelings too many times in my life than I care to remember. You would think, I would have learned my lesson, but God didn’t make me that way because no matter how much I get hurt, I keep on giving.
The older I get, the wiser I get! It really amazes me, how many people will vent to you about how someone did them wrong. They will bleed their heart out to you, explaining their perception of the events and how it hurt their feelings and they just don’t understand what happened (they are always the innocent bystander). I have listened, trying to be supportive because I know how it feels to “hurt”… Then, “bam” right in your face you completely understand why people were treating them that way because they just did it to you, exactly the same thing they were complaining about.
Sometimes people take advantage of you so bad, that you feel like a human door mat. Sometimes it hurts so bad that you feel like they must have stepped in a big pile of stinky dog dodo, and they are desperately trying to wipe that crap off on you, the “Door Mat”.
Does life really have to be this hard, has common courtesy become extinct like a dinosaur? Is it really that difficult to think of others’ first? Has selfishness taken over the world? We haven’t been invaded by aliens, no that is just self absorbed human beings.
I continue to struggle with this life lesson, but I think the goodness of our hearts outweighs the selfishness of other peoples’ ways. I believe that people just get caught up in their own drama so much, that they can’t see pass it, they are oblivious and don’t even realize that they didn’t show any gratitude for your kindness. I do believe that in time, (and it may be a long, long time) they will look at their past and be thankful for the kindness that has been shown.
Please don’t stop giving and showing kindness because you got your feelings hurt. This world needs all the love and kindness it can get. If you allow your hurt to stop you, you really need to ask, did I really give without expecting something in return?
Focus on the joy that you feel at the moment you gave, it’s not about the result, it’s about the moment.
I remind myself everyday, that my kindness might not be recognized at the moment, but it still may have an impact on someone, someday and that maybe life changing for that one person.
So my conclusion is, I will keep on giving and I will keep getting my heart broke, but that is the price of having a kind and loving heart.
You’re not alone, you are beautiful!
The Girl that was Abandon