This life we live, this journey we are on is not always easy. If we allow ourselves, it would be very easy to slip into the darkness of self pity. As hard as it is, we must gravitate and grab hold of all the small things that happens through out our day that are positive, because self pity is very lonely destination you don’t want to visit.
Most of the time, I feel like I am on the outside looking in. I battle myself with the desires to be accepted, included and invited. To be quite honest, I would love to be the one that people seek out to spend time with, but most of the time I feel like the odd ball left out.
Even as a child, I lived in fear of being the last one picked to be on a the team. If I was picked last, my jersey might as well read “humiliated” because I would feel like they got stuck with me. I think many people can relate to those same feelings as a child. The sad thing is…you would think that we would out grown these feelings as an adult but that is not always the case. Those childhood fears still live deep inside us, tucked away, but they seem to have a way of slipping out.
Sometimes, I feel like that cat that is looking through the glass of the fish bowl, drooling over those fish, wanting so desperately to be inside…Stop! Think about that for a moment, that cat hates water but still desires what is inside of the water. That cat is willing to put its paw in that water to get what it wants. The cat only sees the prize at the moment and doesn’t realize it is going to have to go through the water to get it. How is that cat really going to feel when he dips that paw in the water? Isn’t that food for thought?
I think we need to take a big deep breath, and start accepting what is and the things we can’t change. We need to figure out how to stop feeling discouraged, we need to stop opening the door to allow self pity to come in and take a seat, we sure don’t need to offer it a cup of coffee to stay for awhile.
We have to retrain our minds, we have to search for the blessing for not being included. It might be hiding but if we look hard enough we can find it, most of the time our emotions are in the way, blinding us from the reality.
I bet the blessing are there, if we can get our emotions out of the way so we can see them. If we can do that, we can learn and grow from that disappointment or those expectations that fell short. Those feelings allows us to grow and we become even a stronger person. Do you know what happens when you achieve this?
Those people that didn’t include you will start taking notice and admiring your strength, they will notice that something about you is different but they just can’t seem to put their finger on it. They won’t be able to figure out what it is about you, because remember they are on a superficial level. Now, they will be looking in from the outside and they will actually be jealous of you and how beautiful you truly are.
Now, I know you might say, easier said than done! I agree, it is no fun to feel rejected, those feelings creeped up your spine telling you that you were not good enough, not funny enough, not pretty enough, not skinny enough and that you were not one of the beautiful people that got chosen…STOP, shut the front door! I have to remind myself daily that I am beautiful, that the choices and actions of others don’t define my beauty. My beauty lies within me and if they are too superficial to see it, well it is their lost.
I have discovered, that I don’t want to be included in situations that are based on looks and beauty and superficial feelings. I want to be with people that respect, value, love me; those are the people that are deserving of my company and time. These are the people that will accept me, exactly the way I am and not the way the world wants me to be perceived, because that’s not me.
What I am realizing that in this world; what I see is not always worthy of my desire to be included. It doesn’t stop me from feeling left out and uninvited. Sometimes, I feel like I am in the audience of life, but as the plot unfolds, I realize that not being included is sometimes for my own good. Most times, not being included is hurtful but as the plot thickness I start realizing that The World, God, The Universe,however you want to say it, is actually protecting me in the bigger scheme of things. This protection is for my own good, although at the moment I can’t see it. It is not until time unfolds that the pieces come together and you figure out why you are being protected.
I get how hurtful it is, to over hear people talking about something that happened and you were clueless because no one included you. I get it, it feels like a slap in the face. You are wondering how you missed the memo… it is difficult, because at the moment, it sounded like fun but you didn’t get a chance to experience it. If you could just stop, for a moment and take three steps back and evaluate the situation you might find that it is not all it’s crack up to be… you might even notice there was actually drama hiding right below the surface. It is difficult battle to win because it is like a mirage in the desert, you don’t see the drama, only the fun.
Now, if you like drama, then you missed out, but I don’t care for it so I look at it as, saving “Grace”.
What I am discovering about myself is that I don’t want to be involved in those situations as they are not healthy for me. Although, I still feel the pain of rejection, but if these situations didn’t occur, I would never grow as a person.
Now, when I experience this type of situation, I pick up those rose colored glasses and put them on, oh what a different hue they give to my world. Those rose colored lenses help ease my pain and allows me to see just how beautiful this world can be if we look past the superficial surface. Let your eyes adjust to the lenses and you will find beauty in the world and in yourself.
Isn’t it time you let the light shine through those rose colored glasses?
You’re not alone, you are beautiful!
The Girl that was Abandon