Where is Daddy? That is a good question, I have no clue who my biological Dad is, where he could live, what he does for a living, what he looks like, if I have sisters and brothers. I just simply know nothing about my father and who he is or anything about him. The truth is, I will probably never have any answers to these questions.
It truly does feel like a missing link, a piece of the puzzle is missing where you can never finish the complete picture of the jigsaw. It really makes you feel incomplete as a person. There is a void, something is missing, the unknown and curiosity really can get to you. It is really hard to ease the mind and put that baby to bed because there is so many unanswered questions.
I get it, even if I met my father I might have the same situation as my biological mother. On the other hand, he could a really nice man.
The thing is, I know I have some traits that must come from my other side of the family that I know nothing about. Some of my traits are so far off and don’t match up with my maternal side. That really creates a lot of curiosity in me as well a void, and that horrible feeling of being incomplete. Plus, I could be missing out on a really great family, or not.
One night, within the month prior to my Grandmother dying we had another conversation regarding who she thought my real father could be, she mentioned a few names. This conversation was deep, we talked about many things. I didn’t write anything down this night but I wish I would have because I can no longer remember those names or ask her. I have tried other things to recall or find out information about who my father could be without success. I am a member of 23 and Me which analyzes your DNA and matches it up to discover long lost relatives. The information about genetics and matching is really difficult and you almost need a scientific degree to understand it all, so I have not had any luck on finding any of my paternal family from this site. I am not giving up because people are submitting DNA everyday to this company and who knows one day may be my lucky day.
The other thing I did was hypnosis to try and remember the names that my Grandmother told me, I found out other information from the hypnosis which is another part of my story and I feel confirmed the some of the story my Grandmother told me about my biological mother, but other than the confirmation it has not lead me to the path of my real father.
I know deep down inside that not knowing who my father is, doesn’t change or define who I am. I am my own person regardless who my biological parents are. I am beautiful and worthy, regardless of my rejection and abandonment. I have also met a lot of people who never had a chance to have a relationship with their real mother, father, or both and they all are curious and feel somewhat incomplete. I would urge anyone that is in a similar situation and knows anything that would help someone that has this void, to disclose it. It is not fair if anyone would withhold this information. If someone is withholding this type of information it is only because of a selfish reason which will also eat them alive on the inside. So be bold, be courageous and disclose the truth if you know it. Don’t let someone go through life feeling incomplete.
You’re not alone, you are loved,
The Girl that was Abandon